Girl you are my beautiful hangover // turn it up now.

Woah, didn't blog for over two months. I swear there was a time when I blogged like a freakish amount - every second day, but that might just be me. What happened to Spring? Yesterday's weather was colder than London's?...according to the news we shouldn't plan any plans for Christmas at the beach because it's going to be a wet and "cold" summer. J's studying so I'm bored. The Aussie dollar is good right now. Better than the American dollar. time for Jess to do some online shopping. Before I was tossing between a wine coloured blazer, a deep green and black blazer or a tan caramel brown blazer. I have a green parker so I crossed off the green and black blazer. There are afew navy blazers which look good but I already have a few so no. Wine and caramel? I'll buy them both. Exam on Wednesday too. Zhugeliang anyone? Let me insert a plum into you. And you can find out if your wife is cheating on you if you find another man wearing your silk sewn shirt. Actually I really liked that story. although apparently we're not meant to "enjoy" many old Chinese fictions as they're there to teach us morals...not for us to enjoy! Out of te ordinary but recently I haven't taken that many photos of myself. I think the incentive to is dying. And I havent done anything exciting to photograph. I'll just publish this. now. Poor Blog. Also I realised I have followers? They have nothing to follow lol.

Lovelove.

Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this // SCARLET

I absolutely love this red striped sweater with such deep cheek contours and her lips...Although I've been wearing red coats recently I haven't actually worn a red top in a long time...hah....even on Chinese New Year I think I wore Aqua?! haha. Ok, I think I'm going to have to start deeply contouring my cheeks using deep pinks from now on....seriously... :|



So here I am repeatedly listening to Love the Way You Lie. I am so undecided on this whole ong distance relationship with J nowadays. He used to make me so happy and even though now he still does it's different from the way it was before. I suppose I can't expect it to be perfect. It bothers me because I felt we used to mutually make the sacrficice. Maybe it was my fault. I told him not to come a month after I saw him because I thought it was too soon and I could wait longer. I remember I regretted it so much when I had trouble with school. Maybe he unconsciously took that as a sign of rejection. Maybe I message too much asking where he is and what time he's coming home, even though I know he's not doing anything wrong. Maybe thats my unconcious distrust. And now even if i acknowledge somethings are my fault it's too late. And then there is him...and I don't even know where to begin because it doesn't seem "that" bad but then it really is because I think he's not listening. Maybe I am over analysing it. I just don't know how to fix it. How does anyone fix any problems? I think we have a communication issue. But he has never really being the type to talk. I guess he made all the big changes first. He came to me first. He stopped smoking because I told him it was bad which was hard for him coming from a culture where it is perfectly normal. He would buy me everything I really liked. He would always spend time with me just here because it's what I wanted. Of course I know he would have to have a social life outside of me. And he would. Maybe it's the person he chooses to be with - male but somehow I deem to be quite dodgy. But then I have no right to say I think your friend is a bad influence because really he's not. Yeah, I can feel threatened by a male. I know sometimes I'm selfish, maybe alittle too self absorbed. But J made mistakes too. And that's another freaking communication issue right there. Am I supposed to say when something is bothering me when I feel it's so damn obvious. And then right there is why i get angry because I think he's not taking the time to notice and then I have to ask. And what's wrong with asking? Nothing. Except for when it becomes a bother because it seems like a nag.

I have a friend who called a girl "the one that got away." I guess he'll always wonder. I didn't want to wonder about this boy I met who seemed so well, lovely really. I guess whatever happens I won't be wondering. Well, maybe I'll wonder if things would of been different if he or I were actually there for one another.

And right there, I can see another issue. He will be getting busier and he won't have time. And there. With already not meeting for months out time will grow smaller and smaller and how will I take it? Ummm...badly. How do i expect him to handle it? I don't really know. I guess we'll have to see. See, I don't actually know. Maybe I am expecting the worst when I don't need to.

Anyway, this is turning out to be a pretty emo post. I should really stop because this could really be pushing my over thinking. There are prob many mistakes throughout this, but I really don't feel like going back to re read this.

haha ok. That's it.

ciao bella.

Are we human because we gaze at the stars? // All this time how could you not know baby? // Today was a fairytale.

1st time. I swear he's secretly stealing you. Or, I could just be jealous that you are kicking it with someone I think is shuai...hmm...hahaha I'm adding him on facebook!!! :P

Tomorrow I am meeting with my dearest Brookie. We're going to go cycling around the lake in one of those giant bikes built for two people to peddle, and then possibly someone can sit in the back? I've never actually had a close up look at those bikes. I think we talked about going to the gym...is the gym even open on Sundays?!

I'm going to go see Inception tonight with my parents. There was the choice of going to see either Knight and Day or Inception. I think Inception is the better choice knowing that even if it (could possibly) be hyped it, it will still on some level be good! Especially since I saw Killers last weekend (total let down, but what did I expect?!) and the only good thing about it was Ashton Kutcher standing in an elevator going to go swimming :P

I've also received a voucher from Witchery. I am currently unaware of how much money is on that voucher but basically I have to purchase something of $40+ and then take the voucher to be scanned and it will have a minimum of $20 spanding up to $1000.



I'm looking into buying a nude coloured top, and I really like the cream coloured blazer...so many choices...although I suppose it all depends on what stock the store I go into has.



Can't stop listening to their covers...I am seriously considering buying their albums off itunes....

Ok so a short update but that's it for now because I feel like I've neglected this blog for far too long ha. Since the beginning of my holidays. I suppose since classes have started again it is only appropriate for me to become sidetracked and blog again ha :P

Lovelove.

RANDOM //

Seriously, where does the time go? I have no idea. This holidays have seemed to go by quite fast. I think I had four weeks? This is my last week and it is already Wednesday. Tomorrow my friend will graduate which is awesome for him, but bad for me because he is the only friend I actually enjoy to call and now there will be no one to call further exemplifying my hermitness!! Time for Jessi to join the rejoin the gym to take up some of my time. I can't even remember what I did in my spare time last semester??...and the one lab I would go to also apparently got closed down?! did they reopen a new one?! So lame...lol Ok but in all happiness and congratulatory feelings Yay Adit! -- Yes, I know you're (maybe) reading this.



Time for some self reflection...What is there to do after graduation? What profession to take? To continue study? To work and where?!...I must consider the options and possible limitations!...

And what of other things in life? And don't bring up my strange hermitness as an issue. That's not changeable at present ha.

I should do something qi centering....

It's a load of rubbish, I know...but I swear everytime I look at my horoscope in the newspaper its correct. I can always relate..perhaps it can be argued that the subject is too vague and broad and can be related to anything.

And another thing!I was in Sydney and my family and I went to a restaurant which was recommended by the hotel we stayed in - apprently famous for its wood fired pizzas. I ordered a pizza called Shanghai which had roast duck and plum sauce, sounded interesting....average tasting. I could of gone to the pizza store near my house and bought a pizza from there for $10 and I am 100% sure it would of tasted a thousand times better. Where has all the good food gone?!...I am going with my parents to eat at Jackie Chan's restaurant on Saturday. Haven;'t been there for a long time...please don't disappoint me.

I also painted my nsils twice today, and removed the colours twice because I kept screwing it up. I suppose I should just leave them for awhile. They're stained s strange pink anyway, although they have been for awhile because they're always painted some form of pink/red. Should give them a break.

I think I'm going to go do a face mask now.

Yeah, this post lacked any real substance. Sort of a combination of pre dinner feelings and the after of dinner where I feel too full making my feelings to bla ish to type anything else. But even if I were feeling slightly less full and bla ish I'm not sure this post would of been any more eventful. I suppose I did actually have another draft saved before this that did have some actual photos...but I'll keep that for another time.

Anyway, time for that face mask. I think I'll go on msn and chat to Adit and figure out a time to meet tomorrow. Although I have to say the weather is looking pretty gloomy which makes everything less happy - worse to take happy photos..I can imagine myself slipping somewhere.

Ok, thats all.

She's got a halo 'round her finger

Around you...

Don't wanna kiss, don't wanna touch.
Just smoke one cigarette and hush.
Don't call my name.




I went with my family to see Wicked for my mother's birthday. My dad and I decided we would drink green cocktails, of course in the flashing green glass ha. I would of never thought of the ending in the way that it did - this isn't to say that I thought that it concluded in a witty unexpected twist, more random than anything else. I liked the the character of Elphaba's sister the best - a small role but something that I felt did intertwine with the film the Wizard of Oz.

Bought these boots from Diana Ferrari - current favourite because they're so comfortable.


Lovelove.

I want your love and all your lover's revenge

Yuka sent me some photos...Thanks babe xo




Lovelove.

I could be chasing but my time would be wasted

..They got nothing on you baby..nothing on you baby..

They might say hi, and I might say hey..But you shouldn't worry about what they say..




The dress comes in three colours - grey, white and black. The jacket comes in light pink, white and black. Yeah..I'm going to buy the dress in white and the jacket in black ha..the top two I'm still debating over...leaning more towards the first dress over the second black and white top.



Beige Blazer from 新光三越 Klein Plus.



I realised with my perm dying out...I can style it like Freja.

...yeah baby....


Lovelove.

cus you should be my lady.

One can't help but buy afew things during mid year sales. I bought J a navy hoodie sweater and a brown collared shirt, am still debating over buying him a denim shirt. I on the other hand bought myself two denim shirts. Then my mum saw me wearing the above version and decided to buy the same one in a size up for herself haha. Next up some fur...



I'm regretting telling J not to come, I wish I hadn't. But if I didn't I would of felt too selfish.



They Breathe Fire
So what is the one most attractive thing a man can do by far? Smoke, now of course it's not as simple as that. It takes a certain man to do it in a certain way. The way I see it, just seeing him pull out a fag and smoke it while talking on his phone is not enough. When he sits in a dimly lit area in absolute seclusion staring with incredible intensity at what seems to be nothing (out a window or at something outside), ignoring all factors and noises around him. Just thinking, thinking and smoking or he could be not thinking at all. What he is thinking about, you don't know and all at once you want to know and don't care. All you're sure about is he looks like art incarnate. Nothing about him hints in the slightest about who he is (although you may know him) he seems like the perfect stranger. Now you just stare, stare at the white puffs of smoke leaving him. Every noise in the form of a brilliant scuffle or breath, becomes more than what it is. Now I'm not sure if it's the smoking I like or the intensity of a mans thinking. Either way I LOVE IT. If you don't believe me be on the look out the next time you go out.

withasianstereotypes




We were driving, I can't remember where we were going. Taiwan has a short winter, a warm winter. The rest of the year is hot. J needs to pull over and stop...

Or there were the times I brought the clean clothes in, only to have them smell of smoke.

Maybe just sitting on the end of the bed.

Keeping the distance when we were out because it's bad for me.

Smoking is terrible, I won't deny. But I always told J he looked so damn shuai.

"When nothing else subsists from the past, after the people are dead, after the things are broken and scattered. The smell and taste of things remain poised a long time, like souls, bearing resiliently, on tiny, and almost impalpable drops of their essence. The immense edifice of memory" - Marcel Proust.




Lovelove.